#2: Eaten by von Neumann machines
You will need: a single von Neumann machine
Method: A von Neumann machine is any device that is capable of creating an exact copy of itself given nothing but the necessary raw materials. Create one of these that subsists almost entirely on iron, magnesium, aluminum and silicon, the major elements found in Earth's mantle and core. It doesn't matter how big it is as long as it can reproduce itself exactly in any period of time. Release it into the ground under the Earth's crust and allow it to fend for itself. Watch and wait as it creates a second von Neumann machine, then they create two more, then they create four more. As the population of machines doubles repeatedly, the planet Earth will, terrifyingly soon, be entirely eaten up and turned into a swarm of potentially sextillions of machines. Technically your objective would now be complete - no more Earth - but if you want to be thorough then you can command your VNMs to hurl themselves, along with any remaining trace elements, into the Sun. This hurling would have to be achieved using rocket propulsion of some sort, so be sure to include this in your design.
So crazy it might just work.
Earth's final resting place: the bodies of the VNMs themselves, then a small lump of iron sinking into the Sun.
Earliest feasible completion date: Potentially 2045-2050, or even earlier.
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lonesome_crow for pointing out this contest at Robert Swartwood's blog. The idea is to write a story with only 25 words. They may not be stories in the traditional sense of a beginning, middle and end, etc., but 25 words is more than enough to induce an emotion in a reader, to take them to place of your choosing, and that's much of what a good story should do anyway. So I'm game. It doesn't hurt that Stewart O'Nan will be judging the entries. I loved, loved, loved A Prayer for the Dying and Snow Angels. It'd be an honor for him to read any of my own words.
It's been wayyy too long since I've posted. But yes, I'm still alive. My employer moved our office 30 miles away to be closer to my boss's house. Well, great for him; not so great for me. I've gone from riding a train into work (and having a couple hours every day to just sit and read/write/sleep) to now being stuck in my car for an hour+ drive each way. As much as I hated dealing with public transportation before the move, it's only now that I've realized how nice it was to have that extra time to get things done. And while I will eventually get used to the new routine and start carving out time where I can, as of now things like reading novels or writing fiction just aren't in the cards for me for a while. Kind of frustating, but that's life, right?
It did get me thinking though: how do other writers manage those periods when writing just isn't possible? Maybe there's a week, a month, or a year where life is just too hectic and consuming to focus on that outlet. So what do you do to maintain a writng mindset? Reading works for me, but sometimes even that doesn't fit in the schedule. Luckily I still manage to squeeze in some reading for the Nossa Morte slush pile, and I generally find it beneficial to read and critique other writers' fiction when I can't come up with my own. At least my mind spends time focusing on how to write, even if I'm not actually doing it. Better than nothing I guess.
So what works for you?
Lorne Dixon’s first book, Snarl, just went on sale this weekend. I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of a local critique group with Lorne for the last few years, and I’m probably damn close to being as excited as he is about this book. I’ve read it, and I can honestly say it’s as entertaining as anything I’ve read in years. It’s a werewolf novella written by a guy that doesn’t normally write werewolf stories. The result: an original, imaginative book that anyone can enjoy, regardless of your appetite for the hairy beasts.
See, the thing is, Lorne’s stories have been hell to critique in our little group. By the time they pass our eyes, they’re already in great shape. The man is consistently good at what he does. If I could write more final drafts that were anywhere near as good as his rough drafts, my publishing credits would probably take more than one hand to count. My constructive criticism usually entails me squirming for any detail I can find to improve, while trying to overcome the frustration of not having been the one to write the story in the first place. Yes, he’s one of those writers—the kind other writers love and hate all at once, but all the while keeping that bar raised high, giving the rest of us something to shoot for.
So if you’re looking for something fun to read, check out Snarl. You can read my review of the book here. And stay tuned later today for details about a contest at Nossa Morte to win free, signed copies of Lorne’s book.
justin_pilon Age when I decided I wanted to be a writer: I started writing in college, but never really thought of myself as a "writer". It was just something I did for fun in my spare time. So i'll say 28 -- the year I decided to try and get published.
Age when I wrote my first story: 18 -- a college English assignment. I have a vague memory of writing a story earlier than this (something about a haunted house), but I'll be damned if I can remember when it was
Age when I first submitted a short story to a magazine: 28 (well technicially it was an anthology)
Age when I sold my first short story: 28
Total number of submissions: 12 (2 pending)
Total sales: 4
Thickness of file of rejection slips prior to first story sale: 0 (I know, I'm still trying to figure out how that happened)
Approximate number of short stories/novelettes/novellas sold for cash money: 4
Poems sold: 0
Age when I started writing my first novel: stay tuned
Age when I started writing my first completed novel: ---
Age I finished that novel: ---
Age I started my second novel: ---
Age I finished my second novel: ---
Age when I sold a first novel: --- (geesh, enough with the novel questions already)
Total number of novels written (discounting duds): --- 0
Books sold: 0
Books in the process of querying: 0
Short stories in the slush: 2
Short stories written this year: 6 (as you can tell from my earlier answers, this has been a fairly productive year)
Age when I became a full-time novelist: ---
Age now: 31
Just got word that my 500 word flash piece was accepted by the reincarnated Poe Little Thing at Black River Publishing. As it's been a couple years since my last sale (and almost as long since I've really written anything), I'm glad to finally get something out there. And glad also that I finally got back in front of the computer this summer. Hopefully this is the start of a trend. Stay tuned!
- Mood:
relieved
This is the 1-year Anniversary Issue and is jam-packed with more content than ever before. Featuring:
Fiction by: Harrison Howe, Michael Kelly, C.A. Manestar, Vincent Pendergast, Jason S. Ridler, George Seaton, and Andrew Shvarts
Interviews with: Michael Kelly and Brian Hodge
Plus, as a special treat, we also have an article from Lorne Dixon in celebration of the 30th anniversary of Stephen King's The Stand. The article features comments by some of the best writers out there, including Michael Arnzen, Tim Lebbon, Brian Keene, Brian Hodge, Gerard Houarner, F. Paul Wilson, Jeff Strand, Elizabeth Massie ... the list goes on and on. It's an amazing article. Thanks, Lorne!
And to top it all off, the web site has undergone a complete makeover.
Check it out!
I spent some time browsing Duotrope today searching for a potential home for one of my stories, and I noticed just how many markets are temporarily closed. A database search with "Horror" chosen as Genre, "Short Story" chosen as Length, and "Semi-Pro and up" chosen for Payscale, results in about 100 listings. Out of those, about a third of them are currently closed, mostly to catch up on submissions and clear out the slush.
I also have a Favorites List with about a dozen markets that are more relative to what I tend to write (and which don't lean more toward fantasy or science fiction), and of those, about 60% are temporarily closed.
So strangely enough, given how I usually lack any patience, I'm actually sitting on a couple stories, waiting for markets to open back up.
It'll be interesting to see how quickly some of these magazines get flooded again when they finally do re-open to subs. I suspect there's plenty of water behind the dam.
Anyone else having trouble finding potential homes for your work? Do you have any favorite markets that are actually still open?
On to the next...
The story, tentatively titled "Like a Lion" was inspired by an assignment I completed as part of the Gotham Writer's Workshop, which I've been participating in during the last several weeks. I took the online course as a way to kickstart my writing again, to get me back on track, and it seems to be working.
I'll give it some polishing over the next several days, and get it out on the market. And that'll make 3 stories that I have out in submission land -- the most ever for me. Yes, I'm one of those 'writers' that doesn't write very often, but I think that's changing.
- Mood: chipper
Over the last two days, the following search engine terms were used by visitors of my blog:
"haunted legends"
"haunted legends submissions"
"hanted legends anthology"
"datlow haunted legends"
"haunted legends mamatas"
Looks like I'm not the only one getting a little anxious about my sub to this antho. I mean, it's been two weeks since it closed. Isn't that enough time?? :-)
- Mood: hopeful
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